As a child and still now as an adult my favorite game was and is Mario. So this evening Rob and I played Wii games with the boys. They were excited to play Mario for the first time and were suprisingly good at it. I love sharing the joys of my child hood with my kids.
Tonight I was poisoned and dragged from my bed in the middle of the night. Enslaved in a foreign land. Then rescued and taken to a new land to try and start a new life. It all happened during a game of D&D. I love the chance to use my imagination. Something that I feel I do way to little as an adult. A chance to be creative. A chance to be…
I am stumbling.
I am crumbling.
They don’t listen, am I mumbling?
Try as I might,
no matter the fight
nothing seems to come out right.
Is this the way
it has to stay?
I wish I could just walk away.
Tonight Aly and I went out for a Girls night out at the Church. Which left Rob home with the boys. Aly and I had a great time and arrived home a bit late. It was about 10:20 pm when we got home to a dark house. Pulling in the driveway I assumed that everyone was asleep. Silly me. I came in the house to the sound of little voices singing. So I made my way through the dark house to discover Rob out cold in bed while both boys were wide awake in their beds singing to each other.
Now what I don’t get is HOW he can be in bed asleep while the boys are awake in their room. I can’t do it. I CAN NOT sleep while the kids are awake. Is it just a mom thing? Or is it just me? I would be freaked out that they are going to get up and get into things.
Lately I have felt like I am always “behind the eight ball” so to speak. I just fell like I am always trying to catch up. Well I just arived home from shopping with two sleeping children. Normally I would get them out and take them inside. They would be cranky whick would fluster me and things would seem bad.
Today I decided to take this time. To sit. Listen to the radio. To blog. And most of all, to relax and just breath.
If I am always rushing I will never catch up and even more I will miss these moments of peice. These moments when all is right with the world. These moments that allow us energy to continue the race of life.
So yesterday I wrote about how I was stressed out with the toilet training issue. Well I would love to say that every thing is perfect but lets be realistic things like that don’t get better over night. However things don’t seem as bad today as they did yesterday. Let me start at the beginning.
So I got up this morning with plans to call the pediatrician to set and appointment to see him about the training issues. Usually it takes a while to get in to see him but they had an appointment open for this Thursday (stress reliever #1). Then I had an appointment for a parent workshop today. I hadn’t written down the topic just the time and location (oops) so I didn’t know what I was going to. I got there to find out that it was on behavior problems in children (hmm..stress reliever #2). So I asked about toilet training problems and getting help and I was given a contact name and number for a behavior specialist he specializes in toilet training issues (stress reliever #3). Then I rushed over to get Cam from school and found out that he had made it through the entire school day with no accidents (stress reliever #4). Yeah!
I woke up dreading this day but it has actually turned into a surprisingly good day! Just what I needed. It has re-energized me for the road ahead.
I am feeling very frustrated. Angry. Confused. And just generally stressed out lately.
I posted before that Cam had finally started toilet training and for a few weeks he was doing amazing. With reminders he would have very few accidents. Then he started school and got sick (just a stomach bug) and was set back a little, no big deal it happens, right? Wrong. Since the beginning of school/being sick he has been having accidents almost daily. Okay so he needs more time? More encouragement? Firmer response to the accidents? ??? The options go on. But over the last year of toilet training (or hoping to train), nothing has worked. I have read countless numbers of books. Blogs. Medical write ups. None of them has been very helpful. Here Cam is a healthy 4 year old boy, very intelligent and yet I am unable to toilet train him. Now all of these books say that you can’t train a child until they are ready but he displays EVERY sign that he is ready and has been for a long time.
So why then can’t/won’t he train?
He knows what is suppose to be done. He can explain how it suppose to work. But he can never really seem to explain why he didn’t do it.
I am at a loss as to what to do next and the school is wanting me to take more action in his training. Not to sound mean but come on. If it were that simple don’t you think I would have done it?
I am stressed and worried that something could be wrong. Maybe mental? A mental block from seeing what his brother has gone through with bowel problems? Maybe jealousy over the attention his brother and sister get being changed? Maybe laziness or lack of interest? Ugh… Or could it be a physical problem similar to Nate? Could he have issues that we don’t even know are there?
I am obsessed with thinking about this. And I feel completely powerless to do anything about it. I feel like the stress is causing fractures in my mind. I need direction. I need answers. I need HELP!
Yes it is only day 5 and already I have resorted to stealing blog ideas. Rebekah “stole” the idea of a list of 5 things in life that she loves from her friend Becky. So in a moment of complete lack of creativity for a topic for today I decided to steal the stolen idea. So here is my list.
1. Food. Especially when shared with friends and family.
2. Curling up on the couch to watch a movie or a show while my kids are quietly sleeping upstairs.
3. Presents. Not to sound shallow. It isn’t receiving them or even what they are. It’s the mystery. I love to wonder what is under the paper.What is hiding inside. As a kid I would spend a ton of time trying to figure out what was inside with out peaking. I would shake the box a fell the weight and even smell it hoping to find a clue about what was inside. Heck it didn’t even matter if the gift was for me I just wanted to solve the mystery.
4. Useless trivia. I love learning new weird and wonderful facts even if they have no real value. Like Yak’s milk can be pink, white or a tint of blue depending on how long it has been milked for.
5. Thunderstorms on a hot summer night. The kind that blocks out all other sounds and can light the sky up like the middle of the day.
Well I probably sound insane but that’s my list.
Yesterday I was at the mall just window shopping when I wandered in to Old Navy. Now I realize Christmas decorations and things have started to appear on store shelves over the last few weeks but I have blissfully been ignoring those and pretending that I still have time before the holiday season arrives. However upon entering Old Navy I noticed a festive sound being played through out the store. Under closer attention I realized that the sound was in fact a Christmas carol. Really? Am I the only one who thinks November 3rd is to early for Christmas music? I mean come on the stores haven’t sold out of Halloween candy yet.
I just need a little more time before I get in the festive spirit.
On Halloween night while out trick or treating with my kids Abby our dog tripped me with her leash. If that wasn’t bad enough I was carrying Aly at the time in her Moby wrap on my chest. So when I tripped I sort of rolled into the fall in order to protect Aly from being squished. I was successful and Aly was startled but completely unharmed. I on the other hand was not as lucky. It turns out I sprained my ankle and the x-rays show a possible chip fracture. There isn’t enough damage to need a cast but there is a LOT of pain. The next afternoon my neighbor across the street found out what had happened and offered to take Cameron to school in the mornings (she has a daughter 1 year older then Cam). I am so thankful for her help. With out it I doubt Cam would have gotten to school on time at all this week. It is hard on a good day to get all the kids ready in time to get Cam to school on time but this week I think it would have been near impossible to do while limping around.
The help from my neighbor has really made me think and wonder if there is something more I could be doing to help someone else in need. So I have decided to try and be more aware of others and to try and do more “good deeds” to help other people.